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Friday, 9 November 2007

The good, the bad and the ugly hotels

OH MY HEAVENS!!! I stayed in the worst hotel room I have ever stayed in. And I have stayed in some pretty bad rooms.

We were travelling and stayed in a horrible, dirty, awful, smelly room. It did not need an upgrade it needs an exorcism. I could not sleep very well on the first night because of the strange smell of the room. Ok it was a smoking room, but I think I know what a morgue smells like now. Thats how bad it was. I think the rooms are "sick". I did not feel well at all, and I was in a terrible mood when I woke up, so it must be haunted. And the smell started permeating not just our clothes we were wearing, but the clothes packed at the bottom of our suitcase.

Our second night was worst than the first. How could that be your ask? Let me tell you. Beside the general malaise of the atmosphere, we were greeted on the stairs by teenagers in their underwear. Fabulous. I don't mind teenagers, I was once one myself, back in the 19th century. I went to bed and was rudely woken up past midnight by loud knocking and slamming doors,
and this went on all night. The management did nothing, at all.

The only experience I've had worse than that was the time I booked a room in Mexico next to a roller disco. The room was lovely, the sound from the roller disco was hellish.

We have stayed in some dodgey rooms. Once when we lived in Walsall, my wife, daughter and step son went to London to visit an old workmate of mine. We booked a room on the net, it looked ok. You should never judge a book by it's cover. We should have realized this was not a great place because it was near Kings Cross. The front of the place looked nice. It's when they took us to our room that things went wrong. They took us down a number a flight of stairs into the dungeon. Back in the corner they showed us our room, oh dear. It had a basement window, with a nice view of peoples ankles. We dare not open the wardrobe because the doors were the only thing holding it together. The bathroom was essentially a very small cupboard in the corner of the room that made noise all night. The sheets were dirty.

The worst part was I went out to get some food, McDonald's. It was just past midnight and we were given a key to our room and the front door so I thought no problems. When I got back the font door was locked, bolted and chained. My wife could not open it form the inside, so I started banging on the door to wake someone to let me in. After half an hour, the manager, a crazy woman in her night dress was yelling insanely about why was I out so late, it was half past midnight. She was crazy, I was afraid. My wife convinced her to let us in and and then she laid into me. She was telling me off for staying out too late, for trying to get back in to get to my room, and all sorts of crazy stuff. She still haunts my nightmares.

Be araid, be very afraid!